soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We're too hungover to prance.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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