you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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