lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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