Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
