Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
