I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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