CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
