My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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