I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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