I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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