I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He has the fingertips of a God
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
