You're so nebulous sometimes
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
