So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
