Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
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