my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
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why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
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I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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