i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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