In the future we'll all be gay
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
