So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
no more duck duck goose at the bar
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
