Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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