1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
