Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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