How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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