ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
