He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
