No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
