we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
