im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
