How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
