I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
