So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize