And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
