what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Its about making memories worth repressing
i think i have two assholes
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
