I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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