see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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