I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
