I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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