is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
