Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
