I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
