Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
