I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
