The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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