I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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