I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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