yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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