At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
