So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
