so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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