if i can run in heels then i can drive
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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