I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
