I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
