I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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