According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
