I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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