think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
