i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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