Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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