you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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