you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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